Listen, I’m no more special, beautiful then any other girl. Im average. Im insecure. Im hurt. Im 20 years old forever clinging on to whoever welcomes me. A pair of open arms will open my heart. I grew up neglected. Forever last in my mothers eyes, even after a man who beat her senseless, who destroyed her ambitions, dream and hopes of a perfect family. I was no more important than the pet that wandered our house. I suffered silently for years, my behaviour has lead me in dark places, and brought upon such horrible things girls should never suffer. ( molestation, rape, sexual assault) by friends. By family, by people I trusted. My insecurities brought upon me a hardship I thought I’d never be able to change. But here I am. Stripping myself – becoming vulnerable for you and them. To let you know that chasing after boys, for a sense of security and acceptance is a harmful way to live. 10 years of chasing after boys, being hurt- used , let down. . I’ve been taken from myself – for so long I was only a body . But now I am a human. A body with a story to tell – a body that has emotions – who wont be used or shamed for having breasts – or a feminine shape. I wont allow others to take me – to use me for their purpose. I am human – not a toy.
This is acceptance of what I am.
This is what I have to say.
My past has ripped from me my security.
Nothing left but bones & flesh.
I was left to “figure it out” & “watch myself”
Fight my Own battles - Endless.
So I stripped what was given to me.
I took off the shirt that covered my breasts, that covered my stomach..
I took off the pants that held in my dignity and respectability (As if I wasnt a human with a body)
I shed my everything,
my comfort zone collapsed to a pile of comfort bricks
in which I lay currently, unable to lift the limbs I was given for stability.
If any of my followers or anyone is going through, or has been through anything and needs to talk im here .. always.. No hesitation - anon or not ill be here for you